Believe in yourself . Don't fear failure

You've gotta move on! Stop fighting to change things that are in the past! No matter what you do, you can't bring them back!

stay honest with yourself. you will get to the point where you see the next level of thought that you avoided so far, leading towards a solution. 

the kinder you are, the bigger the toll it takes on you. We have to fight with
ourselves, in our hearts, and we have to do it harshly in order to come to the right
conclusions.

i think im finally finding my inner peace emotionally. i took a cold hard look at how it is and stop looking at the close door. its sealed. no longer do i want to wait and hope it will open up again. maybe i was avoiding it for a while, then accepted it but the feelings about it stayed even longer period of time than i thought it would. i still wasn't able to let it go or i thought i did but still had this big lump on my throat that was suffocating me..putting weight on my soul. i wanted to let it out but couldn't. got tired of feeling that way. even though i did what i could to mask it, fake it till you make it or just accepting it outright it still lingered. i think i was just still dwelling on the past and not reflecting it; but finally...i think i can finally move past it.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

~ Mark Twain

A new opportunity open up for me few days ago job wise. i really was debating at first if i should take it, but why should i just settle at the current place? new opportunities, new challenges, it's exciting! success is always the best. but i wouldn't want to call it "success is the best revenge" because you are still lingering that past. success for yourself and not thinking about the other person. 

Update:
just got the offer!!!! im so happy/filled with joy!! its going to be long odd hours and real work but damn its going to be worth it when i see my paycheck!! it really is funny how you thought you had it planned out..didnt work out...something else better comes along...again.